Sitting here earlier today thinking about what to say, I realized that
there were some things that had been omitted in asking you as my “readers”
for your opinions instead of assuming you wanted to hear mine. Simply
stated, everyone has an opinion and whether good, bad or indifferent they’re
In our last post we discussed the huge difference in how things are now with
raising our “Millennials” versus when most of us were coming up. What we didn’t
discuss was how to motivate them. As previously stated, there has to be a
sense of urgency and as parents we always push our children to be better than
they believe they can be… but how far is far enough to push? How far
is too far to push? At the end of the day maybe we should examine
the difference between “pushing” and “shoving.”
When we hear the word “push” we usually think of someone challenging us to
go harder and further than we’ve ever gone… kinda like achieving a level that
you never thought attainable. Throughout that state of being “pushed” there are
usually times when you think that you can’t continue and you’ve gone as far as
you can possibly go… completely exhausted… physically, mentally and
emotionally. At the same time however, you remain invigorated and determined to
achieve the goal or task at hand… fighting tooth and nail to conquer whatever
obstacles may lie ahead. Fear isn’t a consideration and at the very root of
this journey is the idea that you WANT to be there… You ACCEPT
Being “shoved” is more of a violent movement than anything… right? Whenever
fights start there’s usually one person who “shoves” the other person causing
an immediate emotional outburst of retaliation. When you think about being
“shoved” you think about being forced to do something and thrown into an arena
that you don’t really care to be in. Fear (we’ve all heard of the acronym associated with F.E.A.R. False
Evidence Appearing Real)
is a dominant factor which causes “paralysis of analysis.” No action.
No movement. No fight. No nada! There’s no interest in the
challenge much less the goal or the fight.
Merriam-Webster defines shove as: v. to put in a
rough, careless or hasty manner; to move by forcing a way
Does that sound like anyone you know?
Ultimately, we need to be able to rightfully divide a loving “push” from a
careless, hasty “shove” as parents. I was told by one of my coaches a long time
ago: “the biggest room in the world is room for improvement.” Of
course our kids need improvement… they’re kids, but let’s not lose sight of the
fact that we too live in that same room.
Your feedback is most appreciated...